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This message sent to ChildLit Listserv on Thursday, July 3, 1997 is reprinted with the kind permission of the author, S. Chris Saad, as well as the permission of the owner of ChildLit, Michael Joseph. I have been following this thread [European Parenting] with interest. Recently, a meeting was set up at the home of a Cambodian child. All professionals involved with the child were to be at the meeting, as was the child's mother. A huge group of people showed up at the house. The following people were present: Linda (social worker), Sophia (intercultural caseworker), Hannah (speech therapist), Julie (occupational therapist), Marilyn (the child's new teacher), Eve (Marilyn's supervisor), and me (the child's old teacher). The meeting, however, could not take place because the child's parents were not present. This is not to say that nobody was home. The family's seven children were at home. These children ranged in age from infancy to 15 years. The older children and the baby were upstairs. Downstairs, a two-year-old, a four-year-old, and a seven-year-old were being watched by a ten-year-old, who appeared to be paying more attention to the television than to his charges. The smaller children, including the 2-year-old, ran in and out of the house, which was in a Philadelphia inner-city neighborhood. All the children were dirty. So was this child neglect, or was this children running a little wild in the summertime? Was this a cultural difference? Of course, all the professionals had a different opinions. Linda and Julie thought it was child neglect. Eve and Marilyn thought it was cultural difference. Sophia and Hannah kept their thoughts to themselves. As for me, I didn't know. I knew the child and the family better than any of the others present. I knew that the children were getting about as much supervision without their mom home as they generally get when their mom is present. I knew the children are always grubby but are well-fed and well taken care of in terms of health care. I suspected that making a report to DHS would probably do more to harm this particular family than to benefit them. I don't know if any of the others present made a report, however. A few years ago, I would have been unshakable in my belief that this was child neglect and should be reported. As I have become more experienced, however, I have come to believe that a wide variety of parenting styles are valid. I would be interested in hearing others' opinions on this issue. Chris
Created July 8, 1997 and is continuously revisedSCILS, Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey |